Heroes of Barsaive

Summit of the Trollmoots 3

May 6, 2012

The blood spilled by the battle against the rage-fueled Prokauw Tornflesh was enough to nearly free Death itself from its prison under Death’s Sea, but the Turbohorses stood against the terrifying prospect and prevailed.

Many trolls were slain, including the chieftain of the Thundersky moot, but many more were saved, and Death was prevented from walking the earth again.


Gordon (Petr): “Pays a living wage for a family of four.” That would be a great filter [for job listing sites].
Alan (DM): Is there something you’re not telling us?
Gordon (Petr): That’s just a standard measure.
Alan (DM): Or are you claiming each of your cats counts as half a child?
Gordon (Petr): They do cost as much.

Alan (DM): He saves against being obnoxified.

Alan (DM): He is very badly hurt. No one should be making elaborate plans to hurt him more than once in order to kill him.

Doc (Molokhai): I saw you hung out with Nikki yesterday.
Gordon (Petr): Tried to; it didn’t work out.
János (Tuzigoot): Much like the relationship.

Alan (DM): Rockhorn doesn’t have a lot he can do when he’s backed into a wall like that.
János (Tuzigoot): Apparently everybody puts Rockhorn in the corner.

Doc (Molokhai): So Alan has come up with some reason; we’ll just have to live with it.
János (Tuzigoot): I can’t, I just can’t live with it! mimes suicide
Doc (Molokhai): Fine. Patrick, start writing down quotes. Gordon, go through János’s pockets; he must have something worthwhile.

Alan (DM): Ironmonger’s up.
Doc (Molokhai): The shitty Iron Man villain?
Alan (DM): No, not the shitty Iron Man villain.
Patrick (Cro-Mag): Alan’s up?

Doc (Molokhai): Mexico has turned into a Saw film.

Alan (DM): The only way I imagine I could ever wear [Google Glasses] and retain my self-respect would be to strap a laser pointer to them and call myself Locutus of Borg.

Alan (DM): Then the ground starts shaking in that foreboding way.
János (Tuzigoot): Well, really the camera starts shaking.
Alan (DM): Thank God we don’t have an effects budget.

Alan (DM): He goes over here 20 feet in the air and decrees that Cro-Mag should die.
János (Tuzigoot): That’s been decreed before.

Alan (DM): I’d like to point out that these minions are the least minion-like minions you’ve ever fought.

Alan (DM): He hits himself with lightning too, but doesn’t take any damage.
Doc (Molokhai): “This armor’s up to code, bi-yotch!”

Gordon (Petr): My brain says one thing and my mouth says the same thing, only I don’t really want to say that out loud.

Doc (Molokhai): I’ve decided to post important life news to only one of five social media platforms.
Alan (DM): And you chose Twitter?!

Alan (DM): I though his scythe wasn’t all that hot, then I looked at the damage it does.
Gordon (Petr): It does a fuck-ton?
János (Tuzigoot): You lose 1d4 limbs.

Patrick (Cro-Mag): That does just bloody me. Good, now I can hit him back at full strength.

Alan (DM): Make a religion check to determine how hard a religion check is.

Gordon (Petr): That was really, really a letdown. We didn’t even roll dice to kill Death.

Alan (DM): Well that was basically a two-session encounter, and I don’t have any idea how much XP that was worth.

Alan (DM): The funny thing is Death isn’t worth all that much experience.

Alan (DM): I don’t think Gordon says the first thing he thinks of, he says the worst thing he thinks of.

Doc (Molokhai): We’re like the Mop ’n Glow of genocide.

Doc (Molokhai): Yesterday was Cinco de Mayo, a holiday for a lot of people who aren’t us.
Gordon (Petr): No, it’s a holiday for a lot of white people too. It’s an excuse to drink.
Doc (Molokhai): Right, it’s a holiday for white people who drink, who aren’t us.

Summit of the Trollmoots 3
gnfnrf mcghiever

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