Heroes of Barsaive

The Return of Aardelea 3

January 8th, 2012

The intrepid Company of the T-Horses delved deeper into the secret Theran research lab, seeking to rescue the not-the-slightest-bit-creepy little-girl-with-mysterious-magical-powers. Beyond the trapped room, they found and dispatched a chain golem.

Past the chain golem they entered a foyer of sorts, dominated by a massive planar orrery. Riding the orrery about was a plane-scarred elementalist who attacked them, and used the power of the orrery to summon elemental creatures. These too were slain.

In the research facility proper (which seemed to have been evacuated) the Company found the little girl they sought, covered in blood, deep in shock, and surrounded by the corpses of guards who had been mauled by some sort of dragonlike creature. Not at all creepy.

The entire group departed, but were attacked by a group of elite Indrisian warriors, which was the worst idea the warriors had all day.


Gordon (Petr): There’s this man named János who’s a real douchebag.
János (Tuzigoot): Yeah, I should probably stop referring to Aardelea as ‘jailbait cocktease.’

Alan (DM): You guys are treating this [portcullis] as a far larger obstacle than I was. I’m surprised you’re spending more than 15 seconds on it.

Alan (DM): That chair is in fact the cheapest chair-like object it is possible to purchase at Target.

Doc (Molokhai): Oh my god, it’s a chain golem?
Gordon (Petr): That’s not a chain golem, it’s… examines artwork a black licorice golem.

Alan (DM): So falling into the pit onto rusty chains causes 2 points of damage and tetanus.

Patrick (Cro-Mag): It’s good to have you here in person, [Gordon]; the maturity level was way too high without you.

Doc (Molokhai): “Good news, everyone; you’re delivering this many-tentacled horror to Hentai, the Japanese schoolgirl planet.”

Alan (DM): His vision has been ruined. He read in dim lit for too long…

Alan (DM): He reaps creatures that defy his mark.
János (Tuzigoot): So he doesn’t reap what he sows?
Alan (DM): He reaps what he slams.

Gordon (Petr): It can move through occupied squares? That’s so… Jewish.

Gordon (Petr): You guys bring out the racist.
Doc (Molokhai): No we don’t!
Gordon (Petr): I’m not like this when I’m alone!

Patrick (Cro-Mag): Know what I just learned, János? ‘János’ is Hungarian for ‘John.’
János (Tuzigoot): Yes. In Hungary I’m just another John.

Alan (DM): Patrick started his turn in the aura and was hit by a smoke tentacle, which is smoky and tentacley-
Doc (Molokhai): I prefer ‘tentacular.’

Doc (Molokhai): Oh, for this to make any sense I need to move… here.
Gordon (Petr): Do you walk there or teleport there.
Doc (Molokhai): Teleport.
Patrick (Cro-Mag): “I don’t walk; walking is so… pedestrian.”

Alan (DM): Then you’re in a stepwell, and dear God I would not write a stepwell into the game without setting a combat in it.

Doc (Molokhai): Is it clean enough to throw up in?

The Return of Aardelea 3
gnfnrf mcghiever

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